


wiping the tears away

by redbirb



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-11
Updated: 2019-05-11
Packaged: 2020-03-01 04:51:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18793363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redbirb/pseuds/redbirb
Summary: 5 times Oikawa Tooru cried + one time Iwaizumi Hajime did.





	wiping the tears away

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first written Haikyuu fic, I have lots of ideas in the works. Of course I started with my favorite pairing. Hopefully this is written within character and comprehensible!

**Third Grade.**

Iwaizumi loved the sound of cicadas, the big horned bugs he was lucky to find sometimes under fallen logs if he searched long enough in the woods. He liked peeking under mossy rocks by the river, getting dirt and mud under his fingernails while bug hunting, hoping he could put his net to good use. He doesn’t mind the scratches and bruises he’ll get as he half-climbs a tree to chase after a pretty butterfly. The only setback was dragging his bestfriend, Oikawa, around with him, always calling after him, always grabbing onto his shirt to be closer to him.

“Iwa-chan! Iwa-chan!” That high-pitched cry grabbed his attention as Oikawa ran to his side, a volleyball in hand, the new interest becoming more prominent in their lives the more Oikawa became obsessed with the round object. He wrinkled his nose when he noticed his friend was digging into the ground again, unearthing all kinds of squirmy, slimey bugs. “Gross, Iwa-chan.”

“You’re gross,” shot back his friend, uncaring as he picked up a worm and measured it against his arm. “Cool - this is the longest one yet!”

The eight year olds paired together to follow along the river, one of Oikawa’s hands predictably tangled on the end of Iwaizumi’s shirt, the other clutching the volleyball tight against his chest. Iwaizumi is on a mission to continue his search, undeterred by his friend’s whining. They make it to a shady part where the trees loom high, shielding them from the baking sun that tans Iwaizumi’s skin, but reddens and burns Oikawa’s. Here the dirt is mildly wet, easy to mold like sand on a beach and the bug enthusiast of the two becomes fascinated by an ant hill he finds a foot away from a tree trunk.

“Let’s play volleyball!”

He doesn’t turn to look at the other, preoccupied by his own interest. “The ball dropped on your face last time. You gonna try and break your nose next?”

He also doesn’t have to turn around to see his friend stick out his tongue at him, he can feel the indignation from his crouched position. “Meanie! So mean, Iwa-chan! All you do is touch icky bugs. I want to play volleyball!”

“Then play,” Iwaizumi mumbled, eyes shifting as he becomes enthralled with a pill bug he’s found, fitting it neatly in the center of his palm, watching the tiny creature curl into a ball. He’s fascinated by this little life, how cute it looked, feeling the ridges along the body with a gentle fingertip, how big his hand seems now cradling it.

“You play too, it’s no fun without you,” Oikawa says as he begins tossing the ball up in the air, the same way he’d done the very first time Iwaizumi had seen him playing with it. He’s squinting up at the ball, the sun just peeking out between the tree leaves to catch across his face along the bridge of his nose, right under his eyes. “You’ll like it too! I was watching games at home and I think I could be a set-”

A thud, hard material hitting skin then the sound of a heavy object touching the ground and rolling. Iwaizumi can hear it all and when he turns he catches the sight of the ball continuing to rotate until it reaches the water, being swept up in the small current. No one moves, just stares until Oikawa let’s out a piercing upset wail only seconds later. Iwaizumi, in a fit of bravery, grips his net firmly and beelines to follow down the water, Oikawa stumbling behind, still crying. The ball has drifted closer to the center of the river and Iwaizumi steps into the cool splash of the water up to his knees, quick thinking having him reach out his net and scoop the ball up. Triumphantly he holds up his prize and gets back on dry land, dumping the net’s contents into his hand before looking up at Oikawa with a grin.

Oikawa’s bawling has been subdued to a pitiful sniffling, a wobbly smile stretched across his lips now that his panic has subsided. Instead of taking the ball from his bestfriend’s outstretched hand, he rushes Iwaizumi into a hug, knocking them both to the ground from the force of it. The ball falls from Iwaizumi’s hand but luckily rolls to a stop in the grass.

“Thank you - thank you, Iwa-chan!” Despite the ache in his back from hitting the ground and knowing there must be a bruise forming on his butt, Iwaizumi doesn’t lose his grin.

When Oikawa finally pulls away enough for him to sit up, he finds the same gentle finger that he used to pet the pill bug is drawn to the tear lines left on his friend’s cheeks. The skin is cool and smooth, one eye shut as the finger traces the wet trail left underneath it.

“Don’t cry over a stupid ball.” He says it quietly, not unkindly.

Oikawa’s lower lip wobbles once more, so he gets out from under him and pulls them both to their feet. He can’t find it in himself to tease when he sees Oikawa pick up the ball and rub off the dirt with his sleeve, fully aware the chastisement that’ll follow when his mother sees.

“I’ll play with you,” Iwaizumi blurts out. He surprises them both, but Oikawa recovers first and beams with the most sincere happiness, his eyes alight with something crossed between excitement and admiration.

“I’ll teach you! We’ll be so cool!”

Iwaizumi thinks bugs are cool, but he doesn’t say that. The rest of the day is spent with Oikawa trying to show off the few things he’s learned from obsessing over volleyball matches he begged his mother to record. Iwaizumi isn’t sure what his friend is raving about with flailing arms and big words he’s never heard before. He’ll try it anyway.

 

**Ninth Grade.**

They’re just as inseparable as when they were children, attached at the hip, following each other wherever one ventured. Iwaizumi has been suckered successfully into Oikawa’s volleyball craze, becoming the Setter’s loyal and trusted wing spiker and Ace. He’s come to love the sport with a fierceness only equal to his bestfriend, both putting their all into practice.

Oikawa has a natural prowess when it comes to team building, becoming captain in their last year of Junior High. Every teammate respects him, everyone looks to him for direction and praise. Iwaizumi as vice captain, however, has to reign him in sometimes when his pride gets too big. It’s been a perplexing and agitating time since Kageyama Tobio entered their lives, effectively able to drain Oikawa of any and all composure, even if clearly unintentional. He badgers his senior for lessons in being a Setter, his preferred position, always starry-eyed and respectful. As far as kouhais go, Iwaizumi thinks Kageyama is not the worst admirer either of them could have gained.

Oikawa has argued with him incessantly about the unwanted attention.

“He looks up to you,” Iwaizumi had pointed out.

“He’s annoying,” was the counterargument, accompanied by a childish huff and pout combo.

Things come to a head when Kageyama persists too much one day after practice to be taught how to serve. It’s their last year in Junior High and their last game is coming at the end of the week, adding stress upon all the older teammate’s shoulders. Oikawa has been obsessive with his serve, his rivalry with Wakatoshi Ushijima taking a stranglehold on his sanity and patience ; more than once Iwaizumi had to shake him back into focus, keep his head on straight.

But it isn’t just that. It’s no secret, at least to Iwaizumi, that he’s envious of Kageyama, the naturally gifted type. Oikawa works the hardest out of everyone, staying long after practice to train himself, straining every muscle until his body is screaming at him to stop. And today he’s too exhausted and boiling inside to deal with a pestering kouhai. The fact that he’d been switched out of a game with Kageyama for losing his cool doesn’t add any favors.

Iwaizumi catches it just in time : the hissing anger in his voice, the raising of one gangly arm, Kageyama’s wide and terrified eyes. He’s quick enough to grab at Oikawa’s wrists, stopping him from making a grave mistake, but now they are both angry and shouting into each other’s faces. Iwaizumi’s fury breaks through, bulldozing Oikawa’s inner anguish at the thought of defeat, at the burden of taking on the entire team towards victory. He wants to win, they **_all_** do.

He’s become a pillar for Oikawa, for the team, and as such he has to bring back his bestfriend before he destroys himself. A rush of adrenaline and instinct causes him to yell and headbutt his friend, uncaring of the pain it inflicts on his forehead and only mildly guilty about the blood on Oikawa’s nose and lip from the harsh treatment. It does what he wants : shuts Oikawa the hell up so he’ll listen for more than two seconds.

“The team with the better six is stronger, dumbass!”

Dumbstruck silence and then the tears come, streaking down Oikawa’s cheeks and Iwaizumi feels relief flood him. His friend is back, snapped out of his impatient and agitated state. Kageyama is stock still, too scared to do more than hold a volleyball tightly between his hands and hold his breath as he witnesses something not meant for him. He’s paid no mind to as Iwaizumi presses closer until he’s nose to nose with the young man in his grasp.

“Stop being an ass and pull yourself together. You’re not doing this alone, idiot.”

_I’m right here with you_. The words don’t leave his lips, but burn in the gaze he stares into Oikawa’s own wide eyes. The tears have slowed and the genuine smile Oikawa gives him let’s him know the message has been received. The three of them continue the rest of the year undeterred and no more outbursts force Iwaizumi to cause anymore head damage to himself or his bestfriend.

They lose the match. It’s not as crushing as either thought it would be, holding back tears while Oikawa has a little snot running down his nose from the effort. Iwaizumi calls him a crybaby teasingly and the two make a vow to get stronger, to shoot for beating everyone on the court as Setter and Ace. Oikawa learns he does not carry the weight of the world and Iwaizumi learns that he will always want to follow their paths together.

Oikawa never quite gets over his envy and his pride worries his closest friends. Good thing he’s got someone watching his back.

 

**Tenth Grade.**

“She can’t just - just…!”

Iwaizumi sits against the headboard of his bed, comic book in hand as he idly reads the plot of _Godzilla : Awakening_. He ignores the tirade for the most part, listening without having to pause between reading dialogue for too long. He’s used to the dramatics by now, big theatrical, emotional displays over the smallest of issues. In no way, shape or form is he colored surprised by this, called it as soon as this situation started.

Oikawa’s popularity had been growing since he shed his baby fat and put more effort in his appearance, taking extra time in the morning to style his hair. Girls flock to him like moths to a flame and he struts like a peacock, giving them a show. Of course this meant he’d get his pick of a girlfriend, going with Yuka, a tall girl with a small nose and rose-colored lips, the pretty type that kept her long black hair groomed and shiny. Side by side they fit the picture frame for ideal couple, walking home after school, her going to cheer him on during practice and games, popping in their classroom to hand him the extra milk bread her mother made for lunch. It doesn’t bother Iwaizumi’s place in Oikawa’s life at all despite his wondering in the beginning. They still hang out at each other’s houses, eat lunch and go to practice at school, schedule meet-ups for karaoke and movie nights.

That didn’t mean Iwaizumi hadn’t felt this was all rather odd. He didn’t expect Oikawa to become emotionally invested in any relationship as it was clear he liked the status more than the actual attachment. He’d brushed Yuka off on many occasions to accompany Iwaizumi, Hanamaki and Matsukawa for some fun, whatever bright idea they’d come up with at the time. Iwaizumi is no fool, he knows disaster when he sees it, that this would become an issue for Yuka soon if Oikawa kept her at arm’s length. Yet… the emotional breakdown was a bit more personal than he’d anticipated and that in a way irked him.

“What are you moaning about? It’s not that serious.” Not the most supportive thing to say, but he can’t shake this annoying headache digging into his forehead.

_It’s not that serious_. He repeats in his mind, on loop. _Right?_

“Unfair, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa sniffs, lying across his stretched out legs, pinning Iwaizumi there with his weight ; if he flexed his legs and pushed quickly upright, he might be able to toss the whiny sack of sob story onto the floor. “I’d miss you too much!”

Iwaizumi blinks, confused. “What? What are you talking about?”

Oikawa gives him a pouty ‘ _You weren’t giving me the attention I deserve!_ ’ look. “It’s very serious if I can’t spend time with you. What would I do without you?”

That… sends warmth fluttering through his chest and all the way up to his ears. “Why wouldn’t I be able to spend more time with you?”

“Yuka said I was ignoring her and to stop hanging out with you so much. That as her boyfriend, I was supposed to put her first. That she was understanding about being at school, but outside that I should put more effort into giving my time to her.”

He’d missed that down the line. “Oh.”

That earns him a dirty look. “You’re my bestfriend! I can’t give you up!”

Iwaizumi swallows the swirling feelings raging a storm inside his chest. It does infuriate him a bit to think of some girl denying them anything. What would he do if Oikawa conceded? It wasn’t that strange of a request considering they were dating. The thought bothered him more than he cared to admit or analyze.

“What are you gonna do?”

“Would it be okay?” Oikawa counters. When Iwaizumi finally puts down the comic book he’d stopped reading minutes ago, he meets an intense stare, as if he’s being dissected for every little detail in his body language and facial expression. This is the look Oikawa reserves for something important, cataloging every component to absorb before making a plan of action. Iwaizumi isn’t certain why now he’s the one being put under a microscope. “If we barely saw each other outside of school? No more movie nights, no more silly karaoke singing, no more of this.” He gestured a hand in the air between them, indicating the here and now.

Iwaizumi doesn’t have to think about it, the turning in his gut is answer enough. “No,” he says it quietly, looking down at his lap.

Studying him for a moment, Oikawa appears equally forlorn. “... I’m breaking up with her.”

That startles Iwaizumi, blinking owlishly at his friend. “It’s barely been a month - are you sure you want to?”

Before the question is even finished, Oikawa has his phone in hand, typing furiously. It must be a lengthy paragraph because it takes longer than Iwaizumi thinks is necessary. The final tap of a thumb seals their fate and neither say a word for a moment.

A sniffle breaks the silence and the waterworks begin. Iwaizumi’s nurturing side shows through this time, reaching a hand out to play with Oikawa’s soft brown hair and scratch at his scalp the way he knows makes the other relax. All the tension in the muscles of Oikawa’s back and shoulders goes limp, sniffling in Iwaizumi’s lap pathetically.

He feels bad, this is Oikawa’s first break up and it must seem like such a monumental milestone in his life. Iwaizumi doesn’t know much about girls and dating, focused on friends, school and volleyball. He’ll extend his comfort for as long as Oikawa needs for tonight, knowing full well this may be a recurring theme in their lives due to his friend’s flirtatious personality.

Iwaizumi can’t find it in himself to complain. Afterall, Oikawa did it for him.

 

**Eleventh Grade.**

Oikawa’s fist bangs against metal in the gym locker room. The game had been grueling, forcing the team into tight corners, making desperate plays, pushing harder than they’ve ever done before during a match. Oikawa’s knee aches fiercely, even the pain from punching the locker doesn’t compare or distract from it. He’s frustrated and exhausted, could collapse where he stands with a towel around his neck, sweat-matted hair sticking to his forehead, shaking with barely restrained anger.

Shiratorizawa took the win. Wakatoshi Ushijima walked off the court a champion, searing his unwavering judgement into Oikawa’s core. _You should have come to Shiratorizawa_ , his rival had told him after slamming the ball down for the winning point, pinning him there with his words, only separated by the net.

Oikawa wanted to spit and hiss, ruffled with self-righteous fury at being dismantled. He respected and envied him, wanted to beat him down, sit on the throne they’d been fighting over since Junior High. All that extra training, strategizing and he still couldn’t win against that giant.

Failure. He felt like a failure, as if he let down the whole team.

“Hey,” says a voice over his shoulder, a warm and gentle hand grasping his arm. Of course Iwaizumi stayed behind, wouldn’t leave him to wallow in self-pity. Without hesitation Oikawa drops his towel and turns around, burying his head into Iwaizumi’s neck, squeezing his eyes shut against the hot sting pressing at his eyelids. He feels better surrounded by his bestfriend’s scent, his heat seeping into the ache of his bones, happy to shut out the cruel world. A hand makes its way into his hair, combing through softly, the soothing gesture pulling a needy whine from Oikawa’s lips. “Hey, it’s okay. No one blames you, don’t blame yourself either. We’ll do this, next year is our time. You’ll be captain, our team will rally behind you.”

_I’m still right here with you._

It’s a miserable ten minutes standing there pressed against each other. Iwaizumi’s skin becomes wet and itchy where Oikawa’s head is resting, but he doesn’t push the other off, letting him stay close and seeking comfort. Iwaizumi’s heart becomes determined to be even better, to become the Ace Oikawa needs in order to defeat his greatest adversary.

 

**Twelfth Grade | One.**

Mid-year has brought many changes in the lives of Oikawa and Iwaizumi as well as struggles. They’ve chosen to pursue the path of volleyball, their eyes set on the grand prize, their team the one that stands on the court the longest. Life goes by as usual, almost like they aren’t aware of the looming finality following behind them the closer graduation becomes. Iwaizumi doesn’t dawdle on the inevitable, choosing to face forward in a strong stride.

Oikawa has had multiple girlfriends by now, multiple break ups where Iwaizumi is forced to console his over-dramatic friend. It used to bother him, but now it’s just another weekly occurrence he deals with the same way he does a math problem : read the equation, find the solution, Oikawa is a weepy mess so let him complain and whine then say nice things until he’s satisfied. It’s no different than uplifting the spirits of the first years on the team, Iwaizumi taking on a mother hen role as Vice Captain. His preoccupied time keeps all apprehensive thoughts in the dark, unconcerned about the future when there are friends he needs to keep in line and volleyball games to win.

“Iwa-chan! Let’s go to your house today!”

Iwaizumi lifts his bag over a shoulder, shutting his locker and looking over at Oikawa who waits for him expectantly, watching him with a beaming smile. There’s an odd shine to his eyes that stops Iwaizumi from answering right away. It’s an ordinary request, they’ve done this hundreds of times, walking home together, hanging out in his room, talking and laughing.

“Yeah,” he says belatedly, walking towards the door so Oikawa can lock up.

The walk home is peppered with idle talk, Oikawa waving his arms animatedly while retelling the plot of _The Fourth Kind_ , doing his usual ranting of aliens this and galactic peace that. When he’s finally run out of steam and Iwaizumi is done humoring and teasing him, they’re almost at his place. Iwaizumi is busy wondering what is for dinner (Oikawa is likely to stay) and if he should skip studying tonight and buckle down tomorrow so they can at least watch a movie before separating for tonight.

Iwaizumi is debating whether to watch _Summer Wars_ or _Astroboy_ when Oikawa pipes up again. “I heard Naemi, the pretty girl from Class 4, was talking about you today.”

Despite his usual boredom for this kind of talk, Iwaizumi feels acutely aware there is a fake pleasantness to Oikawa’s voice. Thinking of what to say doesn’t come as easy this time around. He tries placing a face to the name, but comes up blank, not particularly concerned with knowing who this girl is. “... I didn’t hear that.”

“Hanamaki told me.” The tone laces every word with a sickly sweetness, staining each syllable with something bitter. Oikawa doesn’t approve, for what reason Iwaizumi can’t be certain unless he prods for answers. “She might confess to you.”

“Does it matter?”

Although it will be awkward turning her down and a pain to deal with the teasing from his friends for however long they decide to harp on it, Iwaizumi finds he doesn’t care. But the pinched expression Oikawa tries to smooth and mask shows that his friend at the very least cares.

Oikawa offers him nothing more, slinks into the front door of the Iwaizumi household and quietly removes his shoes before padding inside and greeting Iwaizumi’s mother. As expected, Oikawa stays for dinner and laughs along with his mother about childhood memories, pinching their cheeks before letting them have their peace upstairs. They haven’t really looked each other in the eye since their conversation on the street, using Iwaizumi’s mother as more of a barrier at dinner than anything (sorry Mrs. Iwaizumi).

There’s a tension in the air, something unnamed hanging between them that started the moment Iwaizumi caught sight of Oikawa’s smile in the locker room. It lights his nerves on fire, lingering on the stairs an unnecessary moment while his friend is already in his room, probably making himself comfortable and rifling through his things like the nosy jerk he is. What is he doing standing here like an idiot? It was just Oikawa, right? That’s his friend in there who’ll insist sharing the bed despite them being too big and ontop of each other, the same friend that’ll poke his cheek if he wants attention. There’s nothing to fear, at least that’s what Iwaizumi tells himself.

The second his foot steps over the threshold of the bedroom door, it becomes alarmingly clear that something new is happening, a change teases the edges of their interactions. Oikawa lies in wait, cross-legged on the bed, picking at his pants with a vulnerable expression. He’s been lying in wait, Iwaizumi can tell, but it’s more than waiting for a friend to watch a movie with.

“You okay?” Voice cautious, venturing into the room with paced footsteps.

“Hm? Yeah… come lay in my lap.”

That was a strange request, especially considering that Oikawa liked it the other way because he was a huge baby when it came to attention and pampering. Iwaizumi’s instinct is to refuse, knows his friend well enough to suspect foul play, a prank in the works. One glance up from Oikawa proves he’s no match for the silent pleading from his bestfriend and Iwaizumi may huff and heave a big sigh, but he ends up on his back, head cradled in the other’s lap. He gets comfortable, looking up into Oikawa’s face until that becomes a little overwhelming and closes his eyes.

The stare he feels on his face is intense, burning warmth over his face and down his neck. He feels fingers brushing through his hair, the same gentle gesture Iwaizumi has done hundreds of times to Oikawa. Before he can stop himself, Iwaizumi relaxes until he’s melting into it, humming with content at every slow pull through his hair. It’s peaceful and comfortable and _why haven’t we done it like this before?_

Peeking open an eye, he sees Oikawa looks a little pained, that same vulnerability now split with the same forlorn expression he’d had during his first break up. There’s something so very lonely etched in the curve of his smile that has Iwaizumi’s heart clenching.

_What are you thinking about?_ He wants to ask. _Why are you looking at me like I’m breaking your heart?_

Oikawa traces his pinky along the outline of Iwaizumi’s right ear, a soft touch that causes the young man lying down to shiver. “Do you want a girlfriend, Iwa-chan?”

This topic is not one Iwaizumi wants to talk about, especially with how it’s souring the mood. He contemplates saying no, but also tentative at breaking this trance between them. Oikawa and his penchant for running his mouth keeps Iwaizumi from having to answer at all.

“Because I get it, you know? Girls are pretty and nice to look at and their hands are soft when you hold them. They make you lunch and they cheer you on at games. Naemi is smart and she’s Captain of the tennis team! Their uniforms are cute, they’re cute.”

There’s a twist to his lips at that, something ugly and upset, the tell-tale wobble of a breakdown. Iwaizumi blinks up at him, watching and waiting for whatever end this comes to. He wants to hear where this is going, what Oikawa is trying to convey. He’s unsure if this is going to become a trainwreck or an epiphany.

“You deserve that too, the happiness, someone to care for you. You always take care of me and you’re always there even when I’m being a brat.” Iwaizumi’s snort makes Oikawa smile briefly before speaking again, more rushed. “You’ll graduate and become someone so successful and cool and you’ll marry her and have a family and maybe we’ll meet sometimes during the holidays.”

“Oikawa -”

“And I’ll be a good uncle and I’ll help teach your kids volleyball.”

“Oikawa what -”

“I’ll be there at your wedding,” Oikawa’s voice croaks out, choked by emotion. “I’ll watch you be happy and smiling as you kiss your wife -”

Fat wet droplets hit Iwaizumi’s cheeks, falling from Oikawa’s eyes with his head bent over Iwaizumi’s. His expression has finally broken, morphing into something truthful and anguished. It stuns Iwaizumi for a moment, dawning realization trying to break through the fog to piece together what’s being said, what’s about to happen.

“I don’t want that,” Oikawa sobs.” I’m sorry, I’m the worst. I don’t want you to like her or marry her. I just want to be with you. I - I -”

Iwaizumi calmly brings his arms up and cups Oikawa’s cheeks with his hands. He ignores the tears that drop onto his face, staring into watery eyes. “Tell me what you’re trying to say.”

“I love you.”

And like breaking open a dam, Oikawa floods Iwaizumi’s heart with declarations of love, sincere and honest. It’s overwhelming and beautiful the way his eyes shine even through the tears, the little hiccups that pauses his speech. Iwaizumi wants to clutch him to his chest, let Oikawa hear the rapid beating of his heart, hear the answer echoing there.

“I’m in love with you,” Oikawa rambles like he can’t stop. “I don’t want you to ever leave. I want to go to the same college and get an apartment together. I want to spend our days playing volleyball and rewatching _Godzilla_ a million times. I want to argue about which toothpaste to buy and what brand of cereal is better, if a hotdog is a sandwich.”

“It has a solid argument,” is the first thing he’s said back to this crazy thunderstorm barrelling down on them both.

A sniffle and another watery smile. “Ridiculous. You’re ridiculous.”

Iwaizumi purses his lips, contemplating his next move. Everything feels so fragile : the emotions swirling between them, Oikawa’s cheeks in his hands, the future ahead of them.

“You wanna know what’s ridiculous?” Iwaizumi mutters then pulls Oikawa down and kisses him. It’s a little silly, their teeth clash for a sore moment before Iwaizumi and Oikawa find the kind of rhythm they need. It turns into something sweet and Iwaizumi physically jolts when a tongue licks at his bottom lip with a seductive flick.

Oikawa pulls away looking as dazed as Iwaizumi feels. “What was so ridiculous about that?”

Iwaizumi huffs. “That it took me this long to figure it out. That I do too.”

 

**Twelfth Grade | Two.**

One moment. All it takes is one crucial moment for a game to end, for the ball to fall one last time, mistake or strategy, one team’s determination winning out.

Iwaizumi wanted to take the team to the top, trusted Oikawa to bring his all, to defeat Shiratorizawa, to prove their strength and dedication could and would win out. He would’ve taken it all the way to the end. He would’ve… he would’ve…

Karasuno wins. Kageyama bests his senior. Iwaizumi is happy for him, he’s come a long way, he can see he’s made friends, has finally carved himself a space with a team that understands and can uplift him.

It’s crushing. The sadness he feels at knowing this is the end, that they won’t be facing Shiratorizawa for one last stand, that he gave his all as the Aoba Johsai Ace and still came up short. Oikawa had given him the perfect chance to score from the far side of the court on a ball that most would have let fall. He’d trusted Iwaizumi, he gave him the ball as the Setter to his Ace. And Iwaizumi hadn’t even made it in bounds.

Their coach, Irihata, gives them a praising, heartfelt, final speech. Most of them are crying, Matsukawa and Hanamaki, also 3rd years, look crushed and sorrowful to let this go also. Iwaizumi bites his bottom lip hard, until it’s red and raw, trying hard to keep at bay his emotional turmoil. He’ll stand tall for the team, for the 1st years who look up to him, for the 2nd years who fought with them this far, for all of them who take up the torch after he graduates.

The team is silent when they dress, there are no teasing quips from Matsukawa or earnest questions from Kindaichi. There is no boasting from Oikawa who looks at Iwaizumi even if the other won’t meet anyone’s gaze. The ride back to the school is much the same and Oikawa has it in him to give a final speech of his own before the team disbands. They all have finals to worry about, end of the school year fast approaching, the 3rd years need to be on their toes getting grades up, scholarship paperwork signed and sent, picking their college path.

Oikawa waits for him by the gates, steps in line with him, by his side even if this is the end of highschool volleyball for them. Iwaizumi can’t speak although there are at least ten different apology variations stuck in his throat. Oikawa won’t hear any of them, he knows, will drown them out with soft kisses and kind, gentle fingers, sap away the guilt and the gloom.

They don’t make it halfway home before the tears come, dropping in quick succession. Iwaizumi bites on his lip so hard he bleeds just a little, trying to hold in the miserable, pitiful sounds that threaten to escape. Oikawa does not make him wait, does not hesitate to grab Iwaizumi’s wrist and drag him under a tree with a bench on an empty street corner. No one will see the way Oikawa brushes each tear away, no one will see the dozens of affectionate kisses he places on Iwaizumi’s lips to make him stop biting them. Neither have to whisper apologies for the other to hear them, neither will let the other wallow in self-pity. This time, although hurt and mourning the loss also, Oikawa will become the pillar Iwaizumi leans on, he will dispel the fears, he will shed a few tears of his own and have them all swiped away.

They come apart tear-stained, but smiling.

“You’re an ugly crier.”

“Uwah! Iwa-chan is so mean!”

Iwaizumi for the first time since after the game can grin. He reaches for Oikawa’s hand and hooks two fingers there for a loose hold. “Your face gets so red, like a red balloon that’s about to pop.”

“How dare you,” Oikawa pretends to be offended, gripping Iwaizumi’s hand back a little tighter. “I’ll have you know I’d make a gorgeous balloon.”

“Instead of helium will you be filled with fake charm?”

“Rude, so rude! I’m in emotional distress!”

Iwaizumi lets out a huff of laughter, using his unoccupied hand to rub at his right eye. “What do you want me to do about it?”

“I want daifuku! You should treat me, your loyal boyfriend, after saying such horrible things to me.” Oikawa tugs Iwaizumi closer by the hand, pressing his nose into the warm skin of Iwaizumi’s temple. His height advantage has irked his bestfriend on occasion, but today it fills Iwaizumi’s chest with affection and he doesn’t have it in him to push the other away.

“Well I want anpan so we’re at a standstill.”

They continue to argue back and forth for minutes, feet already moving away to get the daifuku Oikawa wants because Iwaizumi almost always concedes, doesn’t care so long as it’s edible. He wants to forget the sticky feeling against his cheeks, the salty taste on his lips and replace them with a nice meal out with his partner. They’ll have time after to mope a little longer and pick up the pieces again, with Oikawa dragging Iwaizumi to his house where it’s quieter and his bedroom has a lock. They won’t be interrupted when Oikawa’s kisses become a little heated, when his hands start to wander lower, when he has Iwaizumi’s back pressed down on the bed so he can worship his Ace and his Ace can return the favor.

It’ll hurt for awhile longer still, but they’ve never lost each other. Iwaizumi Hajime is thankful for that one blessed mercy.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading this to the end! Feedback is always appreciate if you have something to say :D


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